Nine days after the video went up, I read a comment under it twice.
I knew those words. I scrolled back through my own history to be sure.
In July I typed almost the same thing under an Ape Born ad, at 11:42 at night, with a beer in my other hand.
Sponsored · Comments · July
Gary replied sixteen minutes later. So I had to.
I used to lift five days a week. Then came a desk job, and I quit that too, along with every program and app after it. My lower back took crunches off the table for good. I'm 52. Sit-ups are a thing of the past.
What I didn't type that night was why I was awake scrolling fitness ads.
Last summer my son, he's 13, cannonballed off the dock at the lake and yelled for me to jump in. I stayed on the dock in my T-shirt and told him the water was too cold.
It was 88 degrees out.
See the four belts I was about to roastThe takedown plan
I ordered the full-body kit. Abs, arms, thighs and calves. If I was going to roast it, I wanted no excuses.
- It's just a TENS unit. A tingle on the skin and nothing underneath.
- The sticky gel pads die in two weeks, then they sell you refills.
- It's a $30 belt in a nicer box.
- On day 59 I send it back on their 60-day guarantee and post the refund.
The box showed up on a Tuesday. I filmed every piece coming out.
There weren't any. No sticky gel pads at all. The straps are Velcro and the pads are built in, so there's nothing to peel and nothing to buy again.
That killed point number two before I plugged it in. I didn't say that part on camera.
See everything that came in the boxSpite got the box into my house. What got me to actually strap it on was a photo on Ape Born's site: Jake Platt, an Olympic athlete, wearing one with a group of regular people, a couple of them older than me. If he trusted it, I figured I could give it 20 minutes.
I was ready for a tingle
Belt on the stomach. Bands on both arms, both thighs and both calves. I sat on the couch and hit start on level 3, already rolling my eyes.
The arm bands grabbed first. Then my thighs locked up like the top of a leg press, and my calves fired.
The belt felt lighter than the rest. I had it too loose. I cinched it one notch, misted the pads with the spray from the box, and went up two levels.
Then my abs pulled in hard and held. I could really feel the contractions. My breathing changed, like I was in the middle of a set.
I looked into the camera and said, "Cute. Still a scam."
I have that clip. I've watched it maybe forty times.
See the kit from that clipSore the next day, and I hadn't done a thing
I rolled out of bed and my inner thighs grabbed.
My calves were tight like I'd walked hills. My stomach hurt when I laughed at the radio.
I hadn't done a squat, a curl or a crunch. I sat on a couch for 20 minutes watching the news.
A $30 tingle belt doesn't make a grown man walk down the stairs sideways. I know, because I owned one. It's in a drawer in the garage.
So at 6 a.m. I sat at the kitchen table to figure out what I'd strapped on.
Why a TENS unit tingles and this made me sore
Every belt sends a signal into your body. What matters is which nerve it reaches.
SKINFATMUSCLE
Signal stops in the skin
Muscle stays still
A TENS unit is built for pain. It talks to the nerves in your skin, so you feel a buzz. Most cheap ab belts work the same way. The muscle underneath never gets the message.
Your muscle has a line. Below it, nothing happens. The signal has to reach the nerve that tells the muscle to move.
SKINFATMUSCLE
Reaches the muscle nerve
Muscle contracts
The real thing is called NMES. Physical therapists have used it for years. It sends the signal deep enough that the whole muscle squeezes, like a hard rep.
- 600+deep contractions in one 20-minute session, about the same as 3,000 crunches.1
- +59%strength in an 8-week study of users.2
- 94%saw visible toning in 60 days.3
That's why I was sore. My legs did hundreds of real contractions while I sat there calling it garbage.
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I started turning it up
By week two, level 5 felt like nothing. I was on 11. There are 19 levels, and I finally understood why.
Brushing my teeth one morning, I pressed on my stomach. It pushed back. It was harder than it had been in years.
My back never said a word. Nothing to bend over, nothing to lift. I was sitting in a chair.
Here's my honest part. Around day 20 I cut the beer to weekends. If I was going to be wrong, I wanted to see exactly how wrong.
My wife grabbed my leg in the kitchen
She was reaching past me for a pan. Her hand landed on my thigh and stayed there.
"What have you been doing?"
I said walking. I was not about to admit it was the four belts I'd trashed in public.
That night I put the day 1 footage next to a day 30 clip. Same couch, same lamp, same shirt off.
The guy in the second clip stood up straighter. His arms had shape. There was a line down the middle of his stomach I hadn't seen since my thirties.
I deleted the word "TAKEDOWN" from the folder name. I didn't know what to call it yet.
See the kit from the day 30 clipThe return label is still on the counter
I printed it on day 1. The plan was to ship the kit back on day 59 and post the refund.
On day 59 I moved it to look for my keys. That's the only time I've touched it.
I'm not on a magazine cover. I'm a 52-year-old man with a 52-year-old stomach. But it's firm. My legs have lines. My arms fill my sleeves again.
The first weekend of September we went back to the lake. My son yelled from the water again.
I pulled my shirt off and jumped. I didn't think about it until I was underwater.
That's the clip I ended the video with. You've probably seen it.
Most $30 belts are toys. Mine never got past the skin. The sticky gel pads died in a month and the refills cost more than the belt.
It won't burn your belly fat. It builds and tones the muscle. Food decides how much of it you see. Cutting the beer is what let me see mine.
You should still move. I walk every morning. This trained the muscles my back won't let me train with crunches.
Where I was wrong was the technology. I lumped the real thing in with the toys because I'd never felt the difference.
On day 60, before I made the video, I went back to my July comment. I didn't delete it. I replied to myself.
Sponsored · Comments · Day 60
My apology, in full
Everything I said it couldn't do, it did.
- Yes, it trains four zones at once. Abs, arms, thighs and calves.
- Yes, you can really feel the contractions. More than 600 in 20 minutes.
- Yes, it's hands free. I did it on my couch.
- Yes, it's FDA-cleared. Class II NMES, which is a different thing from a TENS unit.
- Yes, no sticky gel pads. Nothing to replace, ever.
- Yes, the 60-day guarantee is real. I was counting on it. I never used it.
People call it "a scam" or "just a TENS unit" all the time. A TENS unit talks to the nerves in your skin, so you feel a buzz. NMES reaches the nerve that moves the muscle, which is why he was sore on day 2.
Start low, add a level or two each session, follow the 8-week plan, and keep an eye on food, because food still decides what you see.
See the kit that comes with the 8-week planThe kit comes with the 8-Week Transformation Challenge built by Olympic coach Jake Platt, plus weekly live calls with Jake Platt for Elite Club members.
The kit that made me eat my words
It sends the signal past the skin and fires the muscle itself, in four zones at once, while you sit. No sticky gel pads, nothing to refill, and an 8-week program from Olympic coach Jake Platt so you know what level to run each week.
The one honest catch is time. Day 1 feels like a novelty. Day 2 is when you find out. The guys who quit in week one never find out.
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After the video went up, people kept sending me these reviews. Two of them thought the same thing I did. The third says what I found when I opened the box.
"I'm 60 and been a weightlifting coach, personal trainer, as well as a strength and conditioning coach for 35 years. (Former competitive lifter too.) At my age, I still like to experiment with things like supplements and equipment on myself. I must admit that I thought all ab stimulators were gimmicks. I purchased this and have been using it for 6 months. To my pleasant surprise, it has amazingly helped with chiseling up my core even more."
"I came into this situation of purchasing an EMS stimulator with skepticism. I've lift it all my life and I have never found an effective shortcut to ripping it up in the gym with free weights. I have never been more pleasantly surprised by a product that has to do with body building, as with this NMS wonder!"
"This is my 8 months journey while hitting the gym along with using these stimulators. The best part is it has velcro straps and not the gel pads like others. It surely is expensive than other machines out there but is worth the price."
What people ask under my video
The same things I'd have asked, answered straight.
It's a gimmick.
I said that too. It's FDA-cleared as a Class II NMES device, and it carries a 60-day money-back guarantee. Use it for 60 days. If your muscles aren't stronger, send it back.
It's just a TENS unit.
A TENS unit is built for pain. It works on the nerves in your skin, so you feel a buzz. NMES reaches the nerve that moves the muscle, so the muscle squeezes. That's the difference between a tingle and being sore the next day.
Mine only tingles.
Start low and go up a level or two each session. Snug the strap so the pads sit flat on bare skin, and mist them with the spray in the box. Most people feel the arm and leg units hardest at first. The belt took me a few days to dial in. If it still only tingles near level 19, contact support or use the guarantee.
Does it burn belly fat?
No. It builds and tones muscle. What you eat decides how much fat sits on top of it. Anyone who promises you fat loss from a belt is selling you something else.
Just go to the gym.
Go, if your body lets you. Mine won't do crunches anymore. This works alongside walking or lifting. You sit still, nothing loads your back or knees, and the muscle still does the work.
Will it fit me?
The Velcro straps adjust a long way. Extension belts are available for bigger waists. If you have small arms or calves, ask support for a size-adjusted band so the strap doesn't cover a pad.
What's the free Elite Club trial?
It's Ape Born's members club: video coaching and weekly live calls with Jake Platt, the member community, a lifetime warranty and monthly store credit. Your first 7 days are free. Keep it for $49.99/mo or cancel in one tap from your account.
Who shouldn't use it?
Not for anyone with a pacemaker or other implanted electronic device, anyone who is pregnant, or anyone with a hernia. If you have a heart condition or recent surgery, ask your doctor first.
60-day money-back guarantee · Free US shipping
Sixty days ago I had two ways to go. I could keep being the guy on the dock with the T-shirt and the opinions.
Or I could spend 20 minutes a day in a chair and find out if I was wrong, with my money back if I wasn't.
I only picked the second one to prove a point. I'm glad I was that stubborn.
Why it isn't a $30 belt
- One zone
- Surface tingle
- Sticky gel pads to rebuy
- No clearance number
- Four zones at once
- Deep NMES contractions
- No pads to replace, ever
- FDA-cleared, Class II
At $124.99, used for a year, the kit works out to about 34 cents a day. My garage belt cost less up front and did nothing.
